Excellent ! I totally match this being an (ex) elite runner triathlete transitioning late and struggling with male body syndrome. Having had a bad year struggling to find my way back into fitness and transitioning this blog is helping me to refocus 🙏
You captured all of this perfectly! I agree with every point, and my personal experience confirms it all. Thank you for systematizing this—I'm sure this guide will help many people. Following this advice is a guaranteed win!
UPD: Actually, my journey is still going on, and I still have a lot of changes ahead — both inside and out. I’ll even take some of these tips for myself and try to bring them to life.
Hi, I am now 70 after being on HRT for 5 years. I have a small frame, and from day one I decided to eat and exercise like a woman. I train from toes upwards to exercise every part of my body. I do not lift heavy weights and practice yoga to keep supple. Skincare in all its forms is part of my daily routine. I eat in proportion to the amount of physical energy I expend. And yes, I am 70 and believe myself to be attractive because I have had to really work at. All of what you say is true.
Trixie, You sound fucking amazing! I would reply more but I'm lying here recovering from my vaginoplasty and just for a laugh I decided to get a trap nerve in my back! Double agony. You are an inspiration. I have to say I have never done yoga and it is on my list when I get back home from Bangkok after this surgery.
Hi Stevie, I’m awake in the middle of the night, and so pleased to hear from you. I have practiced yoga on and off since my teenage years, and it is something I keep on coming back to. It enables me to tap into what makes us graceful and strong in our natural movements as women traversing the world. I wish you a full recovery, and glad to have made your acquaintance. Trixi X
This article finds me at the perfect time, right as I've gotten through the easy first-steps of transitioning, now confronting my own dad-bod, and finding that I don't like it. Thank you for writing this.
I know I can do it. I've done it before. 20 years ago, egg-me dieted myself from 140 pounds down to about 117, just because it bothered me that I'd gotten so heavy. I couldn't have told you why it bothered me, though in hindsight it's that skinniness is female-coded in our society and being thin had been the only thing about my body that I'd ever actually liked. I guess my subconscious was not willing to let go of that. Not, that is, until my wife noticed how rail-thin I'd become and said she was worried about me. I couldn't explain to her that I was dieting just... because? For no reason? Because I felt like I had to? So with no explanation to offer, I stopped.
But now it's a conscious thing. I understand the dynamics and the motivations now. Which in a certain sense makes it harder: now, I have to do it by choice, rather than simply following a compulsion I quietly chose not to question. But it's also easier now because the explanation is so transparent: dad-bod is not affirming to me. That's enough. Changing my eating habits is not something I have to hide.
Can I ask, though: what's that breakfast ice-cream recipe? It does sound good...
Good point on the calories. At 4 months HRT I seem to have hit a plateau at ~215 lbs. Maybe time to cut from 2k to 1800 a day. Of course I shaved 40 lbs off since April so maybe my body needed a breather.
Forty pounds since April is the part I'd be looking at, not the plateau.
I'm staying well out of the numbers, that's between you and whoever prescribes for you, and I'm not remotely qualified. The only thing I'd say is that the maintenance figure moves underneath you, which is the bit nobody warns you about, so a plateau isn't automatically you having done something wrong.
Hi Stevie love the name btw! Interesting I’ll think about it & reread in a few days got a busy bank holiday weekend to get through house viewings (I’m selling to relocate 400 miles to SW Scotland) then a busy Sunday at a social event with my dogs and Monday gardening & sunbathing ( 32 degrees in East England) to take advantage of the hot weather
Anyway I’ve got a similar but completely different story - Trans woman as well but l lost most of my weight b4 starting? @ the end of covid (2022) I was 250lbs pre diabetic probs newly retired aged 60? Separated ( now divorced) so I started a modified anti-diabetes diet ! Pretty extreme bsdicslly liquid protein shakes (600 - 700 calories?) so short version lost 85lbs in 6-7 months then socially transitioned spring 2023 & started HT in summer 2024 but put on 50 odd lbs in 6-7 months with a rare adverse interaction with Finistride? Switched to Decapatryl Feb 2025 & that summer lost 40lbs but still need to lose the remainder? I swim intermittently walk a lot daily (dogs) and have stated basic core exercises but not consistently yet but body shape gas changed significantly over last 18 months have gone down 2 uk dress sizes (18 to 14) 38C cup boobs still got a slight waist issue but am going to deal with that this summer finally putting on weight on my hips & arse? Am going to lose 20-25 lbs this summer, recreationally I’ve joined a ‘costal rowing club’ in Scotland and a wild swimming group as well. The rapid weight loss and continued dieting has shrunk my stomach so can only eat small portions (basically cut everting in 1/2!) lots of musli olives fish & seafood & pulses avocado as a treat veggie stir fry’s etc limited carbs esp bread & potatoes v limited alcohol trying to cut out snacking it’s not just will power it’s got to be manageable with some variety
Hello Hollie. Coastal rowing and a wild swimming group in south west Scotland is a considerably braver retirement than mine, and I say that as a woman who flew to Thailand to have her skull rearranged.
An eighteen down to a fourteen, and the shape moving as well, is the bit that never shows up on the scale and matters far more than the number does. The shrunken stomach I am frankly envious of. Mine has never once volunteered to be smaller.
I will stay well away from the medication side of it, that is between you and your doctor and I am not remotely qualified. But manageable with some variety is the only version of any of this that has ever lasted, so you have already worked out the hard part.
Hi Stevie I just like watersports especially sailing but I just love being on or near the sea it calms my soul & makes my heart sing last few years mostly offshore racing with my brother & a bit of short handed delivery trips up & down the south coast even did a couple of fastnet races
Galloway was a plan that kinda got linked to my transition it’s a lovely area mild climate not too far from Glasgow for fun etc (I was born in Glasgow but moved south when I was a toddler so it’s going home really)
I’m planning to extend my cottage as well to make it low energy & as comfortable as possible (MVHR & UFH etc) with a spare bedroom for family & friends and a big bathroom 4 me & lots of books
I fell into the weight cycling by accident & it seems to fit where my head it as well
This got me thinking about bit in your blog/post thingy about not having to try and act female it just happened I get that my whole body posture & language has changed the way I walk use my arms etc etc now that I don’t have to pretend any more I’m still petrified most of the time but about different things but sometimes it’s just fear of not passing even though the only thing that gives me away is my voice & I’m trying to work on that
I was walking my dogs the other week and I was approaching a group of men and they all seemed so big confident entitled & I felt smaller diminished other but it felt good whole real me!
Then someone asked me how tall I was & I said 5’ 10 & a bit? Then I measured myself & I’m barely 5’9”
So it’s not in my head I am smaller so now I’m trying to decide where that inch odd has gone have I shrunk or is it posture or spinal ligaments or what
Fastnet races and short handed deliveries down the south coast. That's a rather more serious relationship with the sea than "I just like watersports" was letting on.
The bit about walking past a group of men, feeling smaller and other, and it feeling good, is the thing almost nobody writes down. It reads as though it ought to be awful and it isn't, and I've never once managed to explain that to somebody who hasn't had it.
The voice was the last thing to arrive for me by a distance, and the one I fought hardest for. So I'd not be disheartened about that one.
The missing inch I'll leave with your endo in October, that being their job and very much not mine. My money is on posture, and posture is free.
Galloway, a big bathroom and lots of books sounds like a plan worth extending a cottage for.
I want to say something, and I want to say it very clearly, so that you understand. There is nothing you can say that will stop me living as a woman. There is nothing you can do that will stop me living as a woman. And there is nothing that can come out of your mouth that I give the remotest shit about. Now, is that 100% clear? I hope so. Now trot off back to whatever s***pit it is you live in. I've got software to write. I am busy.
I have this account because I enjoy writing. I enjoy sharing my experiences. I enjoy communicating with the wider transgender community. At times when life has been tough, it's been quite an enjoyable outlet. That's why I write.
Excellent ! I totally match this being an (ex) elite runner triathlete transitioning late and struggling with male body syndrome. Having had a bad year struggling to find my way back into fitness and transitioning this blog is helping me to refocus 🙏
You captured all of this perfectly! I agree with every point, and my personal experience confirms it all. Thank you for systematizing this—I'm sure this guide will help many people. Following this advice is a guaranteed win!
UPD: Actually, my journey is still going on, and I still have a lot of changes ahead — both inside and out. I’ll even take some of these tips for myself and try to bring them to life.
Hi, I am now 70 after being on HRT for 5 years. I have a small frame, and from day one I decided to eat and exercise like a woman. I train from toes upwards to exercise every part of my body. I do not lift heavy weights and practice yoga to keep supple. Skincare in all its forms is part of my daily routine. I eat in proportion to the amount of physical energy I expend. And yes, I am 70 and believe myself to be attractive because I have had to really work at. All of what you say is true.
Trixie, You sound fucking amazing! I would reply more but I'm lying here recovering from my vaginoplasty and just for a laugh I decided to get a trap nerve in my back! Double agony. You are an inspiration. I have to say I have never done yoga and it is on my list when I get back home from Bangkok after this surgery.
Hi Stevie, I’m awake in the middle of the night, and so pleased to hear from you. I have practiced yoga on and off since my teenage years, and it is something I keep on coming back to. It enables me to tap into what makes us graceful and strong in our natural movements as women traversing the world. I wish you a full recovery, and glad to have made your acquaintance. Trixi X
How tf is a seventy year old person dressing how they want hurting anyone?
This article finds me at the perfect time, right as I've gotten through the easy first-steps of transitioning, now confronting my own dad-bod, and finding that I don't like it. Thank you for writing this.
I know I can do it. I've done it before. 20 years ago, egg-me dieted myself from 140 pounds down to about 117, just because it bothered me that I'd gotten so heavy. I couldn't have told you why it bothered me, though in hindsight it's that skinniness is female-coded in our society and being thin had been the only thing about my body that I'd ever actually liked. I guess my subconscious was not willing to let go of that. Not, that is, until my wife noticed how rail-thin I'd become and said she was worried about me. I couldn't explain to her that I was dieting just... because? For no reason? Because I felt like I had to? So with no explanation to offer, I stopped.
But now it's a conscious thing. I understand the dynamics and the motivations now. Which in a certain sense makes it harder: now, I have to do it by choice, rather than simply following a compulsion I quietly chose not to question. But it's also easier now because the explanation is so transparent: dad-bod is not affirming to me. That's enough. Changing my eating habits is not something I have to hide.
Can I ask, though: what's that breakfast ice-cream recipe? It does sound good...
She said the recipe somewhere up in there
Good point on the calories. At 4 months HRT I seem to have hit a plateau at ~215 lbs. Maybe time to cut from 2k to 1800 a day. Of course I shaved 40 lbs off since April so maybe my body needed a breather.
Forty pounds since April is the part I'd be looking at, not the plateau.
I'm staying well out of the numbers, that's between you and whoever prescribes for you, and I'm not remotely qualified. The only thing I'd say is that the maintenance figure moves underneath you, which is the bit nobody warns you about, so a plateau isn't automatically you having done something wrong.
Hi Stevie love the name btw! Interesting I’ll think about it & reread in a few days got a busy bank holiday weekend to get through house viewings (I’m selling to relocate 400 miles to SW Scotland) then a busy Sunday at a social event with my dogs and Monday gardening & sunbathing ( 32 degrees in East England) to take advantage of the hot weather
Anyway I’ve got a similar but completely different story - Trans woman as well but l lost most of my weight b4 starting? @ the end of covid (2022) I was 250lbs pre diabetic probs newly retired aged 60? Separated ( now divorced) so I started a modified anti-diabetes diet ! Pretty extreme bsdicslly liquid protein shakes (600 - 700 calories?) so short version lost 85lbs in 6-7 months then socially transitioned spring 2023 & started HT in summer 2024 but put on 50 odd lbs in 6-7 months with a rare adverse interaction with Finistride? Switched to Decapatryl Feb 2025 & that summer lost 40lbs but still need to lose the remainder? I swim intermittently walk a lot daily (dogs) and have stated basic core exercises but not consistently yet but body shape gas changed significantly over last 18 months have gone down 2 uk dress sizes (18 to 14) 38C cup boobs still got a slight waist issue but am going to deal with that this summer finally putting on weight on my hips & arse? Am going to lose 20-25 lbs this summer, recreationally I’ve joined a ‘costal rowing club’ in Scotland and a wild swimming group as well. The rapid weight loss and continued dieting has shrunk my stomach so can only eat small portions (basically cut everting in 1/2!) lots of musli olives fish & seafood & pulses avocado as a treat veggie stir fry’s etc limited carbs esp bread & potatoes v limited alcohol trying to cut out snacking it’s not just will power it’s got to be manageable with some variety
Hello Hollie. Coastal rowing and a wild swimming group in south west Scotland is a considerably braver retirement than mine, and I say that as a woman who flew to Thailand to have her skull rearranged.
An eighteen down to a fourteen, and the shape moving as well, is the bit that never shows up on the scale and matters far more than the number does. The shrunken stomach I am frankly envious of. Mine has never once volunteered to be smaller.
I will stay well away from the medication side of it, that is between you and your doctor and I am not remotely qualified. But manageable with some variety is the only version of any of this that has ever lasted, so you have already worked out the hard part.
Hi Stevie I just like watersports especially sailing but I just love being on or near the sea it calms my soul & makes my heart sing last few years mostly offshore racing with my brother & a bit of short handed delivery trips up & down the south coast even did a couple of fastnet races
Galloway was a plan that kinda got linked to my transition it’s a lovely area mild climate not too far from Glasgow for fun etc (I was born in Glasgow but moved south when I was a toddler so it’s going home really)
I’m planning to extend my cottage as well to make it low energy & as comfortable as possible (MVHR & UFH etc) with a spare bedroom for family & friends and a big bathroom 4 me & lots of books
I fell into the weight cycling by accident & it seems to fit where my head it as well
This got me thinking about bit in your blog/post thingy about not having to try and act female it just happened I get that my whole body posture & language has changed the way I walk use my arms etc etc now that I don’t have to pretend any more I’m still petrified most of the time but about different things but sometimes it’s just fear of not passing even though the only thing that gives me away is my voice & I’m trying to work on that
I was walking my dogs the other week and I was approaching a group of men and they all seemed so big confident entitled & I felt smaller diminished other but it felt good whole real me!
Then someone asked me how tall I was & I said 5’ 10 & a bit? Then I measured myself & I’m barely 5’9”
So it’s not in my head I am smaller so now I’m trying to decide where that inch odd has gone have I shrunk or is it posture or spinal ligaments or what
I’ll ask my endo in Oct
Good to chat but I need more tea
Hugs Hollie x
Fastnet races and short handed deliveries down the south coast. That's a rather more serious relationship with the sea than "I just like watersports" was letting on.
The bit about walking past a group of men, feeling smaller and other, and it feeling good, is the thing almost nobody writes down. It reads as though it ought to be awful and it isn't, and I've never once managed to explain that to somebody who hasn't had it.
The voice was the last thing to arrive for me by a distance, and the one I fought hardest for. So I'd not be disheartened about that one.
The missing inch I'll leave with your endo in October, that being their job and very much not mine. My money is on posture, and posture is free.
Galloway, a big bathroom and lots of books sounds like a plan worth extending a cottage for.
Thank you for you excellent writing Katie, your discipline is admirable and the results certainly speak for themself
I want to say something, and I want to say it very clearly, so that you understand. There is nothing you can say that will stop me living as a woman. There is nothing you can do that will stop me living as a woman. And there is nothing that can come out of your mouth that I give the remotest shit about. Now, is that 100% clear? I hope so. Now trot off back to whatever s***pit it is you live in. I've got software to write. I am busy.
I have this account because I enjoy writing. I enjoy sharing my experiences. I enjoy communicating with the wider transgender community. At times when life has been tough, it's been quite an enjoyable outlet. That's why I write.
It will never be over Kat, you’ll die and the nurses in your hospice will be trans women, you’ll die knowing all your hate did no good.