It was 5 years ago I dared to write, direct, act in a 1-woman play I felt the need to produce. With every performance since, I have become the woman I created. I am Saoirse. Alive and evolving. xo
"But the basic social contract had shifted. The world was reading me as what I was presenting as."
This right here. This is the moment of realization. And it's a wonderful and terrifying and peaceful and joyful and confusing and completely certain one, all simultaneously. At least for me. I appreciate your story and your articles. I don't agree with all of them, but I do most of them and all that diets is make you a good writer. You make me think and consider and I resonate with you because of a similar life journey and story. Thank you for relating yours. You help me feel seen.
Great article. No idea why I didn't comment before on it (I'm going to get you sick of me one day). I haven't hit that 'yes, I am just another woman' stage yet, but have come close. My kids push me daily and I'm now comfortable with 'mom' and 'grandma' and 'single mom' - all ways I'm identified now. I know I'll get to that magic point where I'll relax and just be. I get that sometimes when around other trans women, but want to hit it when just out on my own. I can tell it is close but not quite there yet. I'm a speed transitioner without surgery - out Februrary 8th, almost 5 months HRT, but super confident in myself. On Parent Council at my kids school, making sure I never hide (even though I sometimes want to). It is scary, but change only happens if someone is visible and I guess I elected myself to be that here where I live.
You won't get me sick of you, June. Parent Council, in a small place, with the school run as your daily audit. That isn't 'close but not quite'. That's the thing itself, you just haven't caught yourself doing it yet.
Mine turned up in a comedy club in Wexford holding a tiny ice cream. Yours will turn up somewhere equally daft, on your own, probably buying milk. 'Mom' and 'grandma' have already done the hard work.
My big problem is the bloody dysphoria attacking. Had another today where I caught myself thinking of myself as a guy when no one else does. So annoying. But it has been just 5 months HRT (officially today), out since February (8 months, 8 days). So yeah, I'm a fast track too - just doing it sans surgery but with TONS of support. Probably why I love following your journey - we are two very different gals on how we are getting there, with very different stories. But hey, here we are succeeding. Just a shame I wasn't out a year earlier so I could've met you when you came to Toronto. Ah well.
Catching yourself thinking of yourself as a guy when nobody else does is the prosecution case I wrote about, still turning up for work. Mine got a lot quieter once I noticed the jury had gone home.
Two very different routes, same destination, and 'with TONS of support' is the bit I'd have paid good money for. Toronto's loss, that. I'd have liked that drink.
Maybe someday you'll find an excuse to travel here. I can't see travelling anywhere in the near future myself (too many places in Canada to take my kids to - East Coast is next on the list - need to do it while they are still here). I have a LOT of good days, but those bloody moments drive me nuts.
Good news is at the gym I seem to have accidently made a friend - damned if I can remember her name, but she is about 67 I'd guess and it is nice talking with her each day there. She noticed me months ago and is amazed at my physical progress. So nice to be complimented and feel like one of the older ladies at the gym.
It was 5 years ago I dared to write, direct, act in a 1-woman play I felt the need to produce. With every performance since, I have become the woman I created. I am Saoirse. Alive and evolving. xo
Writing her, directing her, then performing your way into being her. That's a far more interesting route in than most of us got. Hello Saoirse x
This is gorgeous. I love your writing. (And I'm glad you made the trek to and from safely, if rather damp.)
Thank you Stormy. Damp but intact, which is roughly the Irish benchmark for a good night out.
"But the basic social contract had shifted. The world was reading me as what I was presenting as."
This right here. This is the moment of realization. And it's a wonderful and terrifying and peaceful and joyful and confusing and completely certain one, all simultaneously. At least for me. I appreciate your story and your articles. I don't agree with all of them, but I do most of them and all that diets is make you a good writer. You make me think and consider and I resonate with you because of a similar life journey and story. Thank you for relating yours. You help me feel seen.
That sentence took me a comedy club in Wexford and a very small ice cream to arrive at, so I'm glad it landed somewhere useful.
Wonderful and terrifying and certain all at once is exactly it. Nobody warns you the certainty and the terror turn up together.
And please don't agree with all of them. I'd be worried if you did. Thank you, Rachel.
Great article. No idea why I didn't comment before on it (I'm going to get you sick of me one day). I haven't hit that 'yes, I am just another woman' stage yet, but have come close. My kids push me daily and I'm now comfortable with 'mom' and 'grandma' and 'single mom' - all ways I'm identified now. I know I'll get to that magic point where I'll relax and just be. I get that sometimes when around other trans women, but want to hit it when just out on my own. I can tell it is close but not quite there yet. I'm a speed transitioner without surgery - out Februrary 8th, almost 5 months HRT, but super confident in myself. On Parent Council at my kids school, making sure I never hide (even though I sometimes want to). It is scary, but change only happens if someone is visible and I guess I elected myself to be that here where I live.
You won't get me sick of you, June. Parent Council, in a small place, with the school run as your daily audit. That isn't 'close but not quite'. That's the thing itself, you just haven't caught yourself doing it yet.
Mine turned up in a comedy club in Wexford holding a tiny ice cream. Yours will turn up somewhere equally daft, on your own, probably buying milk. 'Mom' and 'grandma' have already done the hard work.
My big problem is the bloody dysphoria attacking. Had another today where I caught myself thinking of myself as a guy when no one else does. So annoying. But it has been just 5 months HRT (officially today), out since February (8 months, 8 days). So yeah, I'm a fast track too - just doing it sans surgery but with TONS of support. Probably why I love following your journey - we are two very different gals on how we are getting there, with very different stories. But hey, here we are succeeding. Just a shame I wasn't out a year earlier so I could've met you when you came to Toronto. Ah well.
Catching yourself thinking of yourself as a guy when nobody else does is the prosecution case I wrote about, still turning up for work. Mine got a lot quieter once I noticed the jury had gone home.
Two very different routes, same destination, and 'with TONS of support' is the bit I'd have paid good money for. Toronto's loss, that. I'd have liked that drink.
Maybe someday you'll find an excuse to travel here. I can't see travelling anywhere in the near future myself (too many places in Canada to take my kids to - East Coast is next on the list - need to do it while they are still here). I have a LOT of good days, but those bloody moments drive me nuts.
Good news is at the gym I seem to have accidently made a friend - damned if I can remember her name, but she is about 67 I'd guess and it is nice talking with her each day there. She noticed me months ago and is amazed at my physical progress. So nice to be complimented and feel like one of the older ladies at the gym.