Yes, some activists have behaved like lunatics. Yes, some criticisms are fair. But that still doesn’t explain the sheer fury directed at us. I think there’s another engine running the hostility, something far more personal.
I think I speak for all the TERFs when I say: your audacity does not evoke feelings of jealousy in us.
It makes us enraged.
We see where this audacity comes from — male entitlement.
You think you’re some feminist heroes standing strong against the hateful women, when in fact you’re just weak-minded, deluded and entitled men.
You have no traits that would make a woman jealous. None. Not physical, and certainly not emotional or behavioural. You give us the ick.
But rest assured — we do not wish you dead. We just want you to never again feel emboldened to live your fetish out in public, to demand access to women’s spaces and make all society actors in your sick fantasies.
Reading his posts is a bit like squishing a bug — you know it’s going to be gross, but you have to look under your shoe.
The most amusing/aggravating parts are when he says he doesn’t have AGP (yet most of his photos are him with his fake moobs exposed),
or that he has women figured out (we’re jealous, we’re psychologically captured, we’re intellectually lazy, we haven’t lived to our full potential, we’re afraid).
Fifteen years ago, most people managed to hold two ideas in their heads at once: that transgender people were rare, and that their lives were usually quite difficult. The prevailing instinct was not rage, but indifference tempered with a little sympathy. One did not need to be a moral hero to manage this. One simply needed a functioning sense of proportion.
What has changed is not the existence of a fringe. Every population has a fringe, and only a child or a demagogue pretends otherwise. What has changed is the media environment, which now rewards the most lurid, the most performative, and the most grotesquely amplified examples of anything it touches, and then feeds them back, endlessly, to those most emotionally primed to react.
You appear to be particularly susceptible to this. That is not a moral failing so much as an intellectual one.
A handful of algorithmically promoted caricatures have taken up permanent residence in your mind, entirely rent-free, and now dictate your emotional weather. They enrage you, animate you, and provide you with a sense of purpose you might otherwise struggle to locate. This is not political seriousness. It is psychological capture.
The interesting question is not whether “these people exist”. Of course they do. The interesting question is why you need them so badly, why you seek them out, and why you allow social media to manipulate you into a state of perpetual agitation over a group you claim to despise.
What has changed is that autogynephiles like you are now allowed to live their fetish in public.
I want you and your ilk to go back to your euphoria boners in the confines of your bedrooms.
It’s risible how you write about what I’m susceptible to, what animates me, what gives me purpose.
You don’t know me. You don’t know any of us.
You pretend you’re a woman, yet you don’t even have the theory of mind to understand why women despise you, why we’re enraged at your entitlement, at your putting on womanface, at mocking our outrage. You called me “psychologically captured”, a century ago you would have called me hysterical.
You will never be accepted as a woman because you are not one.
Leave the kids alone, and stop harrassing women, and we'll be happy to leave you alone. Our language, our spaces and our safety is not yours to redefine. Stand up to the extremists if that's what they are. Pretending TERFs hate you is another nail in the coffin of the social tolerance of trans-id males.
Heh. The ones attacking children and harassing women are the politicians and church leaders people like you celebrate. Hint - if a politician is fighting trans women, they are just hiding other things they don't want you to pay attention to. Historically and currently there are far, far, far more men running churches who abuse children and groom them then there EVER could be trans women doing that - we have zero interest in doing that for one thing, it takes a TON of effort to live our lives. Use logic - ask any trans person and they'll tell you they wish they weren't trans, as being cis is 1000x easier. None of us want children to live this life, but if a child is trans we want them to have the opportunity to live their life. Period. Too many church leaders would rather put those kids into schools dedicated to teaching them to do whatever they are told and to feel bad if they don't. If someone tells you not to think, they are the enemy. That is right wing politicians and church leaders. Pay attention. You'd be amazed at what you'll learn.
It's not about envy. It's about basic respect for the lives of an oppressed people.
No one would dare try to transition from white to Black, or something of the like. Sex appropriation is just as insulting and cruel as the appropriation of race and ethnicity.
The only difference is that no one cares in this case because we're women. Even most women have no idea that they deserve this respect because we're so used to not having it.
I'm angry and upset, but I don't hate anyone. It honestly hurts my heart more than anything else.
To be clear, my stance is wear whatever you want, present however you want, but don't claim to know what it is to be a woman. That's it.
P.S. In response to the comment about "acronym soup": We didn't come up with "TERF". That was your side.
It's meant to make us look hateful when we just want basic respect for our lived realities.
There is not a finite amount of womanhood in the world, and if Stevie or any other transwoman gets some you get less.
It's not appropriation. It's not some style choice.
It's not like transwomen are walking along gorging on "male-pie" and decide hey I'm going to have me some of that "woman-pie" too!
We have to give up all of the male-pie, just to get a small slice of woman-pie.
Why? Because we are allergic to the male-pie. It's slowly poisoning us.
We are dying inside. We transition to live.
You say you want basic respect for your lived realities. Why will you not provide that in return? Why is it that the universal message from the "TERF" community is "Be gone. Out! Leper! Unclean!"?
It's a creative twist: "cutting off healthy body parts and having a festering hole where your penis used to be" is just so seductive to the rest of us. We are so jealous of such a freedom from convention! Shaving off a third of your projected lifespan with body modification via drugs and surgeries is so endlessly attractive. I could go on... :-)
No honestly I just think it's really obnoxious for a dude to say he's a woman when women have birthed every human on this planet, many dying in order to do so, and we women literally bleed every month and live life with no choice but to be the weaker, impregnable sex.
I do not say I am a woman. I say I am transgender. Those are not the same claim, and I have never pretended otherwise. I will never be a biological woman, and stating that obvious fact has never troubled me in the slightest.
But let us imagine, purely for the sake of argument, that I did make the claim you are attributing to me. Even then, the charge of “obnoxiousness” collapses on inspection. A delusion, if it were one, would be my problem. Obnoxiousness requires impact. Harm. Intrusion. You have demonstrated none.
What you are actually doing is mistaking your emotional response for a moral injury. Women bleeding, women giving birth, women dying, all of this is real, tragic, and serious. None of it is altered in the smallest degree by the words I use to describe myself. The fact that you experience my existence as an affront is not evidence of oppression. It is evidence of agitation.
You are not defending women here. You are indulging a sense of grievance that requires an object, and you have settled on me. That may feel righteous, but it is not rational.
If you find yourself this exercised by something that does not affect your body, your rights, or your life in any material way, then the question worth asking is not what I am claiming, but why you need to react so theatrically to it.
I'm not aggrieved by you doing what you want with your body or your style. I'm happy for you that you're happy, honestly. And I read your posts on getting in shape, I think they're pretty universally inspiring.
It bothers me that you claim any form of womanhood at all. This does harm to women because it says, 'looking pretty is what women are', 'being feminine is what women are', and yes that bothers me. It's hard to explain, I recognize that. As a woman, as a girl, I've experienced so much harm from men because I have a female body. So when I see you there is this feeling of recoil, this feeling of 'wolf in sheep's clothing'. But I do appreciate that at least you admit you are not a woman. And none of us are perfect. I do think it would be appreciated if you could try to hear women on this. Something like being raped or abused by a man, as a woman, leaves deep scars and to then see any man claiming any type of womanhood, yes it hurts. And my fear is men who claim such a thing then gain access to especially vulnerable women.
But if you are not one of the men doing that, I do greatly appreciate you setting that example.
I do appreciate you saying this, genuinely. And I want to be clear that I am listening, not just waiting for my turn to speak.
I don’t dispute for a second that being female comes with vulnerabilities that shape your entire nervous system, especially if you’ve been abused or harmed by men. That recoil you describe is real, and I’m not going to tell you it’s irrational or shameful. Trauma doesn’t work like that.
Where I draw the line is here: my existence, and the way I live my life, is not an attempt to redefine womanhood as “looking pretty” or “being feminine”. I don’t believe that, and I’ve never argued it. Femininity is an expression, not a definition. Womanhood is rooted in biology, history, and shared experience, much of which I will never have. I’m not trying to take that from anyone.
I also won’t pretend that there aren’t trans people who make me uncomfortable too. There are fetishistic, performative, boundary-blind individuals in this space, and I think pretending otherwise has done real damage. I used to think they were a tiny fringe. I’m no longer convinced it’s that small. And I think women are right to push back against being told their discomfort is immoral.
What I ask, though, is proportion.
Most trans people are not predators. Most are not activists. Most are not trying to access vulnerable women. Most are just trying to live quietly, work, parent, pay bills, and not be stared at or hated. Treating the entire group as a threat because of a subset feels understandable emotionally, but it doesn’t scale well in reality.
I don’t expect all women to feel safe around all trans people. That’s not realistic. What I hope for is that most women don’t feel they need to be afraid of most of us.
If it helps, I recently wrote about this exact point, that we are not all the same, and that collapsing everyone into one frightening caricature helps nobody, least of all women. I’ll link it below, not as a demand, just as context.
A nice summary. Still though.... this shows the difference between the sexes: "I don’t expect all women to feel safe around all trans people. That’s not realistic. What I hope for is that most women don’t feel they need to be afraid of most of us."
We women have an unease around all men, esp. unknonwn ones, but this fundamental unease tinges all cross-sex interactions. And when you add kink and the transgressive behavior of many trans-id males, it does not make us feel any safer, quite the contrary.
I am currently writing a memoir and I'm essentially saying the same things. Not about the jealousy. But our inner turmoil continuing to live a delusional life that had never made sense, and choosing, regardless of the consequence, to be who we actually are.
I cracked at 60 and seriously couldn't be happier, despite the pitfalls.
The narcissism drips off the page. Too special to have a job, too special to get along with people, too special to live amongst the sheep…
Character disorders are so insidious, because the character can’t even see their true reflection. You project your own flaws on to everyone else: you feel profoundly bitter and jealous? Ah, no, it’s THEM who are jealous! You’re abusive? Ah, no, THEY abused you! Nothing you say is real, because you’ve constructed an illusion to cope with the pain of your imaginary world.
This (your) is a familiar manoeuvre, and a very boring one.
When someone cannot engage with an argument, they retreat into amateur psychiatry. “Narcissism”, “character disorders”, “projection”, “imaginary worlds”, a handful of diagnostic-sounding nouns lobbed in the hope that they will substitute for thought. They do not.
Notice that you do not address a single claim I made. Not one. You do not quote it, analyse it, refute it, or even attempt to misunderstand it creatively. You simply announce that I am defective, and declare the matter closed. That is not criticism. It is a confession of intellectual exhaustion.
The irony, of course, is delicious. You accuse me of being “too special” while writing several paragraphs about me. You insist I live in an “imaginary world” while you construct an elaborate fantasy version of my psychology in order to avoid dealing with my words. If anyone is projecting here, the mirror is not hard to locate.
And for the record, I worked it out this morning. It's actually 30 years since I had a proper job working for somebody else. I've seen off every single recession. And kept earning, even after transitioning. Because, my friend, I am fucking good at what I do.
There’s nothing to engage with. You made a bunch of claims without evidence. Why would I be held to a higher standard than your fantasy? Good for you if you make a living. One less useless burden on everybody else.
“There’s nothing to engage with” is a strange thing to say immediately after you engaged, twice, with everything except the argument.
You have now moved through the full sequence:
diagnose the author,
declare the text evidenceless,
congratulate yourself for not answering it,
then claim victory because the author replied at all.
That is not scepticism, it is evasion with a smirk.
On the substance, your burden-of-proof move is backwards. Blanchard’s typology is a contested explanatory theory about why trans women transition. If you treat it as your baseline reality, then you, not I, are the one relying on it, and you are the one who needs to defend its assumptions, sampling, definitions, and causal claims. Multiple peer reviewed critiques do exactly that, in detail, and they do not treat Blanchard’s material as holy writ.
If you think my claims lack evidence, pick one claim, quote it, and show your work. If you cannot, then the “nothing to engage with” line is simply you announcing that you prefer vibes and diagnoses to reading.
And the “PS” is the cherry on top. You call someone a narcissist, they respond, and you say, “Aha, replying proves it.” That is a self sealing insult, not an argument. It cannot be refuted because you have defined refutation as evidence of guilt. There is a word for that kind of reasoning, and it is not “science”.
1) Charles Moser (2010) — “Blanchard’s Autogynephilia Theory: A Critique” (Journal of Homosexuality)
3) Julia Serano (2020) — “Autogynephilia: A scientific review, feminist analysis, and alternative ‘embodiment fantasies’ model” (The Sociological Review)
5) Talia Mae Bettcher (2014) — “When Selves Have Sex: what the phenomenology of trans sexuality can teach about sexual orientation” (Journal of Homosexuality)
As someone who used to be a TERF before I came to understand reason, I couldn't agree more. Excellent post. I spent many many years in TERF circles eating up their regurgitated propaganda. I know exactly what makes them tick and its a perceived victimhood supremacy they own. I find it so funny and ironic that most of them are so gung-ho about single sex spaces while sharing every aspect of their lives with abusive and misogynistic men. I eventually grew out of that phase and started listening to trans people instead of just talking about them and lo and behold I learned something new. Anyway, just popped in to say great article, thanks for writing. 🫶🏻
Your essay is all projection and overgeneralization. You act like trans people are automatically superior just for transitioning, and assume anyone who disagrees is secretly jealous of your “audacity.” Maybe try asking TERFs why instead of just writing your manifesto to your echo chamber.
For instance, you could ask me—right here, right now—“Are you jealous of my audacity? Are you hostile? If so, why?” But of course, that would completely undermine your thesis.
A good read and a good reminder. And I will just remind trans people not to look at being transgender as a curse. Earlier in life I think that's what I saw it as. A burden. A monkey on my back. Now that is not the case. Substack is dangerous TE*RF infested waters, and the comments bear that out. Same old same old. In the same way they hang on to AGP and sexual fetishes as the only way to approach understanding trans people is, they rush to soothe themselves and get there anti-trans fix any way they can. We are like a drug or soothing balm to some people. It's an obsession, where they get to declare their values, the way THEY live their lives, and protect the box that they're in. And as you say their cage is unlocked. They live in chains with the keys 🔐 🗝️ lying around in plain sight. I think the obsession with trans people is a pathology. Keep on truckin' 🚛🚒. Without them.
What a load of self-aggrandising codswallop to try to justify your attempts to deny reality in the most offensive way. You were, are, and always will be a man.
Shush thicc ‘in the head’ one.. no such thing as cis , and the term queer is a disgusting slur which NO you haven’t ’reclaimed’ . It is male and female and l g or b. Thanks
No darling it is you who needs urgent therapy, your poor ‘cis’ delusional soul. You are on the wrong side of biology and history. Not to mention shameful to the gay community
I think I speak for all the TERFs when I say: your audacity does not evoke feelings of jealousy in us.
It makes us enraged.
We see where this audacity comes from — male entitlement.
You think you’re some feminist heroes standing strong against the hateful women, when in fact you’re just weak-minded, deluded and entitled men.
You have no traits that would make a woman jealous. None. Not physical, and certainly not emotional or behavioural. You give us the ick.
But rest assured — we do not wish you dead. We just want you to never again feel emboldened to live your fetish out in public, to demand access to women’s spaces and make all society actors in your sick fantasies.
the favorite movie choices lolllllllllllllll
just the whole thing: "you are jealous of me because you simply cannot believe what a dick I am"
is this guy paid by Big TERF to make our case for us or what?
Reading his posts is a bit like squishing a bug — you know it’s going to be gross, but you have to look under your shoe.
The most amusing/aggravating parts are when he says he doesn’t have AGP (yet most of his photos are him with his fake moobs exposed),
or that he has women figured out (we’re jealous, we’re psychologically captured, we’re intellectually lazy, we haven’t lived to our full potential, we’re afraid).
Thanks for this AI-powered slop.
I won't even bother dignifying you with a full response. If you don't like my Substack don't read it. It's not for you.
No AI was used in the writing of that reply, sir. Only ATP-powered wit.
You put your substack out there in the ether, the TERFs will come for you. Man up and take it on the chin.
Fifteen years ago, most people managed to hold two ideas in their heads at once: that transgender people were rare, and that their lives were usually quite difficult. The prevailing instinct was not rage, but indifference tempered with a little sympathy. One did not need to be a moral hero to manage this. One simply needed a functioning sense of proportion.
What has changed is not the existence of a fringe. Every population has a fringe, and only a child or a demagogue pretends otherwise. What has changed is the media environment, which now rewards the most lurid, the most performative, and the most grotesquely amplified examples of anything it touches, and then feeds them back, endlessly, to those most emotionally primed to react.
You appear to be particularly susceptible to this. That is not a moral failing so much as an intellectual one.
A handful of algorithmically promoted caricatures have taken up permanent residence in your mind, entirely rent-free, and now dictate your emotional weather. They enrage you, animate you, and provide you with a sense of purpose you might otherwise struggle to locate. This is not political seriousness. It is psychological capture.
The interesting question is not whether “these people exist”. Of course they do. The interesting question is why you need them so badly, why you seek them out, and why you allow social media to manipulate you into a state of perpetual agitation over a group you claim to despise.
You also mentioned wit. I’m afraid I missed it.
What has changed is that autogynephiles like you are now allowed to live their fetish in public.
I want you and your ilk to go back to your euphoria boners in the confines of your bedrooms.
It’s risible how you write about what I’m susceptible to, what animates me, what gives me purpose.
You don’t know me. You don’t know any of us.
You pretend you’re a woman, yet you don’t even have the theory of mind to understand why women despise you, why we’re enraged at your entitlement, at your putting on womanface, at mocking our outrage. You called me “psychologically captured”, a century ago you would have called me hysterical.
You will never be accepted as a woman because you are not one.
Leave the kids alone, and stop harrassing women, and we'll be happy to leave you alone. Our language, our spaces and our safety is not yours to redefine. Stand up to the extremists if that's what they are. Pretending TERFs hate you is another nail in the coffin of the social tolerance of trans-id males.
Heh. The ones attacking children and harassing women are the politicians and church leaders people like you celebrate. Hint - if a politician is fighting trans women, they are just hiding other things they don't want you to pay attention to. Historically and currently there are far, far, far more men running churches who abuse children and groom them then there EVER could be trans women doing that - we have zero interest in doing that for one thing, it takes a TON of effort to live our lives. Use logic - ask any trans person and they'll tell you they wish they weren't trans, as being cis is 1000x easier. None of us want children to live this life, but if a child is trans we want them to have the opportunity to live their life. Period. Too many church leaders would rather put those kids into schools dedicated to teaching them to do whatever they are told and to feel bad if they don't. If someone tells you not to think, they are the enemy. That is right wing politicians and church leaders. Pay attention. You'd be amazed at what you'll learn.
It's not about envy. It's about basic respect for the lives of an oppressed people.
No one would dare try to transition from white to Black, or something of the like. Sex appropriation is just as insulting and cruel as the appropriation of race and ethnicity.
The only difference is that no one cares in this case because we're women. Even most women have no idea that they deserve this respect because we're so used to not having it.
I'm angry and upset, but I don't hate anyone. It honestly hurts my heart more than anything else.
To be clear, my stance is wear whatever you want, present however you want, but don't claim to know what it is to be a woman. That's it.
P.S. In response to the comment about "acronym soup": We didn't come up with "TERF". That was your side.
It's meant to make us look hateful when we just want basic respect for our lived realities.
Nobody is trying to take anything away from you.
There is not a finite amount of womanhood in the world, and if Stevie or any other transwoman gets some you get less.
It's not appropriation. It's not some style choice.
It's not like transwomen are walking along gorging on "male-pie" and decide hey I'm going to have me some of that "woman-pie" too!
We have to give up all of the male-pie, just to get a small slice of woman-pie.
Why? Because we are allergic to the male-pie. It's slowly poisoning us.
We are dying inside. We transition to live.
You say you want basic respect for your lived realities. Why will you not provide that in return? Why is it that the universal message from the "TERF" community is "Be gone. Out! Leper! Unclean!"?
Trans Identifying Males (TIMs) absolutely do steal from women!!!!
Stop pretending this is about how men dress or what they call themselves
If you have to be constantly disingenuous to defend your position, maybe it’s a crap position
your fight to let ‘some’ men take safety and things from women, allows ANY and ALL men to take safety and things from women
-men can now enter, at will, women’s bathrooms, change rooms, rape crisis centers, DV shelters, etc
-men and boys can steal sports and other opportunities from women and girls
-imprisoned women are forced to be locked in with violent male criminals
-lesbians can’t have penis free clubs, dating apps, events, etc
-TIMS are more violent as a group than other men, and their crimes are recorded and reported as being committed by ‘women’
-theres more, but I know you know
Would be nice to hear back. :-)
It's a creative twist: "cutting off healthy body parts and having a festering hole where your penis used to be" is just so seductive to the rest of us. We are so jealous of such a freedom from convention! Shaving off a third of your projected lifespan with body modification via drugs and surgeries is so endlessly attractive. I could go on... :-)
No honestly I just think it's really obnoxious for a dude to say he's a woman when women have birthed every human on this planet, many dying in order to do so, and we women literally bleed every month and live life with no choice but to be the weaker, impregnable sex.
Then you should read more carefully.
I do not say I am a woman. I say I am transgender. Those are not the same claim, and I have never pretended otherwise. I will never be a biological woman, and stating that obvious fact has never troubled me in the slightest.
But let us imagine, purely for the sake of argument, that I did make the claim you are attributing to me. Even then, the charge of “obnoxiousness” collapses on inspection. A delusion, if it were one, would be my problem. Obnoxiousness requires impact. Harm. Intrusion. You have demonstrated none.
What you are actually doing is mistaking your emotional response for a moral injury. Women bleeding, women giving birth, women dying, all of this is real, tragic, and serious. None of it is altered in the smallest degree by the words I use to describe myself. The fact that you experience my existence as an affront is not evidence of oppression. It is evidence of agitation.
You are not defending women here. You are indulging a sense of grievance that requires an object, and you have settled on me. That may feel righteous, but it is not rational.
If you find yourself this exercised by something that does not affect your body, your rights, or your life in any material way, then the question worth asking is not what I am claiming, but why you need to react so theatrically to it.
I'm not aggrieved by you doing what you want with your body or your style. I'm happy for you that you're happy, honestly. And I read your posts on getting in shape, I think they're pretty universally inspiring.
It bothers me that you claim any form of womanhood at all. This does harm to women because it says, 'looking pretty is what women are', 'being feminine is what women are', and yes that bothers me. It's hard to explain, I recognize that. As a woman, as a girl, I've experienced so much harm from men because I have a female body. So when I see you there is this feeling of recoil, this feeling of 'wolf in sheep's clothing'. But I do appreciate that at least you admit you are not a woman. And none of us are perfect. I do think it would be appreciated if you could try to hear women on this. Something like being raped or abused by a man, as a woman, leaves deep scars and to then see any man claiming any type of womanhood, yes it hurts. And my fear is men who claim such a thing then gain access to especially vulnerable women.
But if you are not one of the men doing that, I do greatly appreciate you setting that example.
I do appreciate you saying this, genuinely. And I want to be clear that I am listening, not just waiting for my turn to speak.
I don’t dispute for a second that being female comes with vulnerabilities that shape your entire nervous system, especially if you’ve been abused or harmed by men. That recoil you describe is real, and I’m not going to tell you it’s irrational or shameful. Trauma doesn’t work like that.
Where I draw the line is here: my existence, and the way I live my life, is not an attempt to redefine womanhood as “looking pretty” or “being feminine”. I don’t believe that, and I’ve never argued it. Femininity is an expression, not a definition. Womanhood is rooted in biology, history, and shared experience, much of which I will never have. I’m not trying to take that from anyone.
I also won’t pretend that there aren’t trans people who make me uncomfortable too. There are fetishistic, performative, boundary-blind individuals in this space, and I think pretending otherwise has done real damage. I used to think they were a tiny fringe. I’m no longer convinced it’s that small. And I think women are right to push back against being told their discomfort is immoral.
What I ask, though, is proportion.
Most trans people are not predators. Most are not activists. Most are not trying to access vulnerable women. Most are just trying to live quietly, work, parent, pay bills, and not be stared at or hated. Treating the entire group as a threat because of a subset feels understandable emotionally, but it doesn’t scale well in reality.
I don’t expect all women to feel safe around all trans people. That’s not realistic. What I hope for is that most women don’t feel they need to be afraid of most of us.
If it helps, I recently wrote about this exact point, that we are not all the same, and that collapsing everyone into one frightening caricature helps nobody, least of all women. I’ll link it below, not as a demand, just as context.
https://fasttrackfemme.substack.com/p/we-are-not-all-the-same
(I'll probably have my tranny membership card revoked for this one.)
I’m not asking you to abandon your instincts. I’m asking for the possibility that some of us are not what you fear.
A nice summary. Still though.... this shows the difference between the sexes: "I don’t expect all women to feel safe around all trans people. That’s not realistic. What I hope for is that most women don’t feel they need to be afraid of most of us."
We women have an unease around all men, esp. unknonwn ones, but this fundamental unease tinges all cross-sex interactions. And when you add kink and the transgressive behavior of many trans-id males, it does not make us feel any safer, quite the contrary.
You are very fucking easily cracked up then aren't you? I bet a night round at your house is the right fucking laugh 😂
He is one of the men doing that.
Do you not feel embarrassed when you use the phrase gender Woo woo. You literally just stole that straight off Douglas Murray, pathetic.
I am currently writing a memoir and I'm essentially saying the same things. Not about the jealousy. But our inner turmoil continuing to live a delusional life that had never made sense, and choosing, regardless of the consequence, to be who we actually are.
I cracked at 60 and seriously couldn't be happier, despite the pitfalls.
Thanks for the read
The narcissism drips off the page. Too special to have a job, too special to get along with people, too special to live amongst the sheep…
Character disorders are so insidious, because the character can’t even see their true reflection. You project your own flaws on to everyone else: you feel profoundly bitter and jealous? Ah, no, it’s THEM who are jealous! You’re abusive? Ah, no, THEY abused you! Nothing you say is real, because you’ve constructed an illusion to cope with the pain of your imaginary world.
This (your) is a familiar manoeuvre, and a very boring one.
When someone cannot engage with an argument, they retreat into amateur psychiatry. “Narcissism”, “character disorders”, “projection”, “imaginary worlds”, a handful of diagnostic-sounding nouns lobbed in the hope that they will substitute for thought. They do not.
Notice that you do not address a single claim I made. Not one. You do not quote it, analyse it, refute it, or even attempt to misunderstand it creatively. You simply announce that I am defective, and declare the matter closed. That is not criticism. It is a confession of intellectual exhaustion.
The irony, of course, is delicious. You accuse me of being “too special” while writing several paragraphs about me. You insist I live in an “imaginary world” while you construct an elaborate fantasy version of my psychology in order to avoid dealing with my words. If anyone is projecting here, the mirror is not hard to locate.
And for the record, I worked it out this morning. It's actually 30 years since I had a proper job working for somebody else. I've seen off every single recession. And kept earning, even after transitioning. Because, my friend, I am fucking good at what I do.
There’s nothing to engage with. You made a bunch of claims without evidence. Why would I be held to a higher standard than your fantasy? Good for you if you make a living. One less useless burden on everybody else.
Oli,
“There’s nothing to engage with” is a strange thing to say immediately after you engaged, twice, with everything except the argument.
You have now moved through the full sequence:
diagnose the author,
declare the text evidenceless,
congratulate yourself for not answering it,
then claim victory because the author replied at all.
That is not scepticism, it is evasion with a smirk.
On the substance, your burden-of-proof move is backwards. Blanchard’s typology is a contested explanatory theory about why trans women transition. If you treat it as your baseline reality, then you, not I, are the one relying on it, and you are the one who needs to defend its assumptions, sampling, definitions, and causal claims. Multiple peer reviewed critiques do exactly that, in detail, and they do not treat Blanchard’s material as holy writ.
If you think my claims lack evidence, pick one claim, quote it, and show your work. If you cannot, then the “nothing to engage with” line is simply you announcing that you prefer vibes and diagnoses to reading.
And the “PS” is the cherry on top. You call someone a narcissist, they respond, and you say, “Aha, replying proves it.” That is a self sealing insult, not an argument. It cannot be refuted because you have defined refutation as evidence of guilt. There is a word for that kind of reasoning, and it is not “science”.
1) Charles Moser (2010) — “Blanchard’s Autogynephilia Theory: A Critique” (Journal of Homosexuality)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20582803/
2) Julia M. Serano (2010) — “The Case Against Autogynephilia” (International Journal of Transgenderism)
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15532739.2010.514223
3) Julia Serano (2020) — “Autogynephilia: A scientific review, feminist analysis, and alternative ‘embodiment fantasies’ model” (The Sociological Review)
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0038026120934690
4) Julia M. Serano & Jaimie F. Veale (2022, e-pub; 2023 issue) — “Autogynephilia Is a Flawed Framework…” (Archives of Sexual Behavior)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36066682/
5) Talia Mae Bettcher (2014) — “When Selves Have Sex: what the phenomenology of trans sexuality can teach about sexual orientation” (Journal of Homosexuality)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24295078/
PS, good job refuting the accusation of narcissism 😂 😂
As someone who used to be a TERF before I came to understand reason, I couldn't agree more. Excellent post. I spent many many years in TERF circles eating up their regurgitated propaganda. I know exactly what makes them tick and its a perceived victimhood supremacy they own. I find it so funny and ironic that most of them are so gung-ho about single sex spaces while sharing every aspect of their lives with abusive and misogynistic men. I eventually grew out of that phase and started listening to trans people instead of just talking about them and lo and behold I learned something new. Anyway, just popped in to say great article, thanks for writing. 🫶🏻
You think all TERFs share their lives with abusive and misogynistic men? What on earth have you that idea?
Proud TERF here.
Sorry, Stevie, but you're just as deluded as every other "trans" person out there.
Seek help.
Interesting theory. I can't say I agree, but it's not the worst I've heard.
Your essay is all projection and overgeneralization. You act like trans people are automatically superior just for transitioning, and assume anyone who disagrees is secretly jealous of your “audacity.” Maybe try asking TERFs why instead of just writing your manifesto to your echo chamber.
For instance, you could ask me—right here, right now—“Are you jealous of my audacity? Are you hostile? If so, why?” But of course, that would completely undermine your thesis.
A good read and a good reminder. And I will just remind trans people not to look at being transgender as a curse. Earlier in life I think that's what I saw it as. A burden. A monkey on my back. Now that is not the case. Substack is dangerous TE*RF infested waters, and the comments bear that out. Same old same old. In the same way they hang on to AGP and sexual fetishes as the only way to approach understanding trans people is, they rush to soothe themselves and get there anti-trans fix any way they can. We are like a drug or soothing balm to some people. It's an obsession, where they get to declare their values, the way THEY live their lives, and protect the box that they're in. And as you say their cage is unlocked. They live in chains with the keys 🔐 🗝️ lying around in plain sight. I think the obsession with trans people is a pathology. Keep on truckin' 🚛🚒. Without them.
That's a proveable lie.
What a load of self-aggrandising codswallop to try to justify your attempts to deny reality in the most offensive way. You were, are, and always will be a man.
Shush thicc ‘in the head’ one.. no such thing as cis , and the term queer is a disgusting slur which NO you haven’t ’reclaimed’ . It is male and female and l g or b. Thanks
Course it did .
No darling it is you who needs urgent therapy, your poor ‘cis’ delusional soul. You are on the wrong side of biology and history. Not to mention shameful to the gay community