The truth is, I could have probably written 50,000 words on this. And maybe one day I will. But these are my musings this morning after sitting alone at breakfast and thinking about us.
Sad story, with some elements familiar to me. I was close to coming out before I met my wife, but once met everything was secondary. She was my world. For 12 years nothing else mattered. I buried my true self deep. I'd always be dreaming of it, but she came first. We adopted 3 girls, then after years of trying she got pregnant. Sadly that was the end of her story as she died after giving birth (internal bleeding the bloody Dr shouldve caught but didnt). For the next 12 years I raised the kids focused 100% on them but got depressed. Tried dating, it flopped. Then hit 268 lbs and knew I was killing myself. Went to therapy an ot all flowed out. My weight started dropping then I came out in February. And I finally came to life. My children 100% supportive, family and friends supporting me to different degrees. Down over40 lbs from my peak and feeling like life is good. I'm damn lucky and I know it. I had the horror of seeing my wife die, but today I am living and have the people who matter most on my side. I hope someday your children recognize you are now your best self and that you love them still and always.
June, that is an enormous amount to have carried. Twelve years of her being your whole world, and then years of holding it all together for the children with no room anywhere in it for you.
Two hundred and sixty eight pounds and knowing exactly what it meant. I recognise the shape of that, even though my version of it looked nothing like yours.
Coming out in February and finally coming to life. That is the line in the whole comment. And thank you for the last one, which I will leave where it is, if you don't mind.
Sounds to be that she did the best thing she could for her.
She did, and I have never once said otherwise. It is the one part of all this I have no interest in arguing about.
Sad story, with some elements familiar to me. I was close to coming out before I met my wife, but once met everything was secondary. She was my world. For 12 years nothing else mattered. I buried my true self deep. I'd always be dreaming of it, but she came first. We adopted 3 girls, then after years of trying she got pregnant. Sadly that was the end of her story as she died after giving birth (internal bleeding the bloody Dr shouldve caught but didnt). For the next 12 years I raised the kids focused 100% on them but got depressed. Tried dating, it flopped. Then hit 268 lbs and knew I was killing myself. Went to therapy an ot all flowed out. My weight started dropping then I came out in February. And I finally came to life. My children 100% supportive, family and friends supporting me to different degrees. Down over40 lbs from my peak and feeling like life is good. I'm damn lucky and I know it. I had the horror of seeing my wife die, but today I am living and have the people who matter most on my side. I hope someday your children recognize you are now your best self and that you love them still and always.
June, that is an enormous amount to have carried. Twelve years of her being your whole world, and then years of holding it all together for the children with no room anywhere in it for you.
Two hundred and sixty eight pounds and knowing exactly what it meant. I recognise the shape of that, even though my version of it looked nothing like yours.
Coming out in February and finally coming to life. That is the line in the whole comment. And thank you for the last one, which I will leave where it is, if you don't mind.