One of the interesting things about having a Substack and, by the way, we're now getting more than 10,000 article reads a month, which is pretty freaking amazing, so thank you is that you start to notice patterns in the comments.
The same characters keep coming back.
The same arguments. The same insults.
You're a eunuch.
You're a pervert.
You're mutilated.
You're not a woman.
Week after week. Article after article. They return to tell me again.
I had exactly the same thing when I was on X. The same people underneath everything I wrote. Following me around. Waiting for the next opportunity to explain, once again, how revolting or ridiculous transgender people apparently are.
And I've come to a conclusion about some of them.
I think they're fighting with themselves.
I think they're constructing an enormous internal scaffolding of arguments designed to suppress something they absolutely do not want to examine.
I think they're trying to convince themselves that whatever they're feeling, whatever curiosity or recognition keeps dragging them back to this subject, absolutely cannot mean anything about them.
And I think that because I did it.
For years.
I had an enormous history with gender stretching back through my life, and I still spent roughly a decade finding reasons why I couldn't possibly be transgender.
I rationalised. I dismissed. I argued. I built intellectual structures around myself.
Anything rather than open the bloody door.
And here's the clever bit.
If a man simply spent every day obsessively arguing about whether people like me should exist, it would start looking rather peculiar very quickly.
So you need somewhere to hide.
And transgender politics provides some absolutely magnificent hiding places.
Women's rights.
Bathrooms.
Sport.
Children.
Suddenly you're not a man spending hundreds of hours thinking about transgender people.
You're defending women.
You're protecting children.
You're preserving fairness in sport.
You're fighting misogyny.
Perfect.
Now the fixation has a noble purpose.
You can read every article. Watch every video. Study every surgery. Debate every hormone. Examine our bodies. Discuss our genitals. Follow transgender people around the internet and write thousands upon thousands of words about us.
And every time that tiny uncomfortable question appears. Why am I so interested in this? You've already built the answer.
Because you're protecting society.
I don't think that explains everybody who objects to transgender people. Obviously it doesn't.
But the ones who cannot leave it alone?
The ones who return week after week?
The ones who seem to know more about transgender medicine than most transgender people?
The ones who are somehow underneath every article, every photograph, every discussion, endlessly announcing how completely uninterested they are in becoming anything remotely like us?
Those people interest me.
Because I recognise the architecture.
I built it myself.
And eventually mine collapsed.
So, to all my angry male friends who like to spend their time commenting on my Substack:
Come on in, boys. The water's lovely.
Cross the line.
Accept yourself.
You might find you have rather less to be angry about.
I'll start off by saying how much I love your posts. You look fantastic and your joy in blossoming into the person you've become is infectious.
Whilst TERF is not a term I particularly like, I know exactly where you're coming from here and as far as I'm concerned, your opening paragraphs are spot on. As you rightly question - if the idea of transgenderism is so abhorrent to these people, why do they keep coming back? Surely if the very thought of 'perverted mutilated eunuchs' so disgusts these people, they'd want to steer as wide a berth as possible.
A few years ago, I watched a documentary about the various facets of transgenderism and one section has stuck with me. Research was undertaken to understand homophobia and two groups were compared - one formed of self-confessed homophobes and the other 'metrosexuals'. Strain gauges were attached to each of the individuals 'downstairs' and they were then shown gay porn. No prizes for guessing which group had the higher levels of reaction to what they were seeing! So I think you're absolutely right - we're dealing with people in denial desperately trying to deal with it through the persecution of others.
Another characteristic here is the conflation of issues affecting trans people with their very right to exist. It's possible to be 100% supportive of trans people whilst having concerns about, for example, their inclusion in women's sports. That, and similar issues, should be a platform for debate, not a springboard for hatred.
In the end, I suspect that these sort of people will end up 'outing' themselves. There's only a certain number of times that they'll be able to rant about these issues before someone close to them comes to the same conclusions that we do.
Love it! I've wondered that about the lurkers who come around and keep going 'get your prostate exam' and stuff like that. I mean, c'mon, any mtf knows that is an issue to be kept an eye on, duh. That is as weak of a comeback as possible imo. These people see how happy we are post-transition, even those who lost nearly everything like you. People like me must really drive them nuts - everyone, everything that mattered to me is still here with few exceptions. So I'm the scariest thing to those who refuse to accept themselves - proof it is possible to do it without losing everything. You are the other scary extreme - you can lose nearly everything and be happier than before.
Meanwhile these poor souls are reading this and getting madder and madder - they want to tear down our happiness. But they can't. Sure, in some nations (USA, UK) they are removing rights as fast as they can, but lets be real - unless they start doing DNA tests at the door no one is stopping you from using the women's room. I'm in Canada where the anti-trans nutbars are mostly at bay still, as it is seen as a USA thing thus if you are a real Canadian you will be pro-trans just to piss them off (you'd be shocked how well that works here).
Are most of the male TERFs really trans? Probably not, but many I have to think are, secretly, maybe even from themselves. So to any of you reading, please go to therapy and examine yourself - once you move forward your life is so much better. Take it from a very happy Canadian.